Politics and Religion are taboo topics of conversation in most social settings. But deep within the fabric of my heart, spirit and soul, I desire to share with you—that I am Catholic. The dichotomy of internal dialogue begins to tear at my heart, brewing intense self-scrutiny. (Don’t forget, I am a consecrated Catholic with a 27-year commitment…and counting.) I can neither defend nor justify the evil actions of members of the ecclesial body of the Catholic Church, or explain the mystery of its better half—sanctity. Personally, I have experienced the heinous and bigoted transgressions of members of my Church, along with the blessings, love and compassion from its very life force.
The Catholic Church is composed of two elements: the human and the divine. The Divine nature of the Catholic Church is the source of all goodness, compassion, knowledge, wisdom and understanding, etc. However, when the human side attempts to interpret the Divine—“perfect love” becomes prey to the personality and potential whim of the individual(s). Regardless, the source of this perfection remains unchanged. Yes, the Church is governed by laws, particularly the law to ‘love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength; and your neighbor as yourself’. The ideal, in the hands of mortals is an aspiration, not an accomplishment. However, for those of us laboring in the trenches holding onto God’s inspiration with every breath, we do the best we can, accompanied by our flawed nature that is “weaker than the spirit”. I am in love with the very existence that heals me as it wounds me.
This is my first blog and I liken the initial angst to giving birth to a baby (according to my mother’s stories). My baby girl has not entered the birth canal and I am already concerned about her first day of school, first date (I dust for finger prints!), college, and the fiancé who may not be good enough.